About a month later Jake called and said he was moving to the East Coat I was mortified, he would be all the way across the country from me, what was I going to do? I immediately started sending my husband’s résumé out to any and all companies on the East Coast in hopes we would end up in the same state. Months went by, but my husband was asked to fly to Virginia for an interview. When my husband arrived from his interview I was told that he got the job and that we had three weeks to get out there. I was shocked, scared and happy at the same time. About two days later on my birthday Jake called with Birthday wishes for me and said he was happy we were moving there and how fun it would be to be on the same side of the Country. I felt reassured that this was going to be a good thing. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was getting sicker by the day. I started taking an anti-depressant. On the move, I had a nervous breakdown and was put on anti-anxiety medication as well as two different anti-depressants. The whole time, my goal was to get to Jake and be close to him, so I could see him again. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was completely ignoring my marriage. Too much of my time was spent thinking about Jake.

Once we got to our new home , my husband started his new job, and I busily unpacked the house and got everything arranged. Things were going smoothly at home, but thoughts of Jake were still constant in my mind. By this time, Jake had gotten engaged to the woman he had been dating for years. I was so jealous of her. I liked her, she was nice, but she had what I wanted, what I craved.

Christmas of that year Jake came to visit, his Fiancé’ Mary was visiting friends on the West Coast, and would be back by Christmas Day, so he decided to spend a few days with us. The day he was to arrive, my husband came to me and told me we needed to talk. I sat on the bed as he told me that Jake had asked him to tell me that there would be no physical contact on this visit, that he was trying to be faithful to Mary. I acted like that was OK, but I was enraged inside. I went to the spare bedroom and placed a professional nude photo of myself on the desk. And shut the door. When he arrived I acted normal and pretended that nothing was bothering me. We had dinner, we talked, and then we all headed off to bed. I heard his door shut, it was right across the hall from our bedroom. I left the door open and seduced my husband, moaning as loud as I could so that he would hear us making love. I felt very evil inside, “he deserves this” I thought to myself.

When I got up the next morning he and my husband were downstairs. I snuck into the spare room and saw that the corner of my nude photo was folded as if someone had been grasping it. I then knew that he had pleasured himself looking at my picture and went on downstairs feeling like I had won a victory. That feeling didn’t last long. Suddenly a feeling of rage came over me. I had an empty cup in my hand and I threw it over his head where he was sitting at the table. “What is wrong with you?”. My husband asked. “Him.” I said pointing at Jake “How dare you.” I said looking Jake squarely in the eyes. “How dare you use me like you did and now throw me away like garbage on a Monday morning.” I stormed up the stairs to my bedroom and cried. About 10 minutes later I heard a knock at my bedroom door. It was Jake. I let him in, he had tears in his eyes. “I am sorry Sam, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I am just trying to be faithful to Mary. ”.he said “Oh, so I was good enough to have sex with BEFORE you got engaged, but now I am just trash?”. I said He hugged me and kept telling me how sorry he was and we both cried. Later that morning I watched him drive away, still in the clutches of anger and grief.